Update

So we went to the Pediatric Cardiologist and Josie is healthy and great! She does have a murmur, but the doc says it's a Still Murmur, or an Innocent Murmur. He said she will "grow out of it" but that just means as she gets older, the murmur will be hard to hear because her chest wall will be thicker. WHEW!!! I have never been so relieved in my life!

That aside, I was making an observation about how perspective changes once you have a child. I was once content to let my house get messy, I didn't dust ot vacuum as often, I didn't mind the dog hair unless I was going out somewhere and was wearing black. My dogs were my children and were spoiled as such. Now, I try to keep the dog hair as minimal as possible. I scrub the freaking baseboards about once a week! I wash my hands like I have OCD. And my poor dogs are just dogs.
Roxy pretty much resents me and hates Jos. It's kind of funny. The other day, I had Josie on my lap and Rox was on the floor. Josie was staring at Roxy because she is really starting to pay attention to stuff, which means mommy can't swear so much anymore. But I digress. Anyway, she was staring and apparently Roxy was thinking "What the hell are you looking at, baldy?" and she jumped and barked at Josie. Granted Roxy is tiny, she is a Minature Pinscher, but it scared Josie and she started to cry. So Rox got yelled at and booted outside. But as I was kicking her pissy ass out, I was laughing to myself because it's just a funny power struggle.
Mali couldn't care less. She thinks that Josie tastes good and will slobber on her any chance she gets. Little does she know that as soon as Jos is able, she will be slobbering on Mali.

Another one of my many observations of late, has been how much I need my husband. Now I don't mean in a co-dependant way. I know that if I had to, I could raise Josie, work and maintain some kind of domestic responsibility if I had to. It would suck, but I could do it. What I mean is how much I need him as an adult and as my best friend, lover, right hand man, comic relief and so on. He really is my perfect match. I can't imagine where I would be without him. I definitely wouldn't be happy.
I also have observed how much a parent needs to have adult interaction! Seriously! you take it for granted until you realize you know every word to all the songs on NickJr and how you steal little moments to yourself when possible. I am a bad parent, I put Josie in her chair sometimes and turn on Yo Gabba Gabba! so that I can sit somewhere quiet and space off for 5 minutes.

Motherhood is wonderful and I am so blessed! :D Until later, have a wonderful day!

Jos

Today we took Josie to her 4 month appt. The doc took a listen to her heart like normal. Only she took 3 times as long listening. She heard a murmur. She said it is in the top part of her heart and she thinks that it could be a valve not functioning correctly. So we have an appointment with a pediatric cardiologist on the 15th to determine what is really going on.
The doc never heard it until now and it scared the shit out of me. I am pretty much a wreck. She said that it very well could be nothing, but I get to worry for 10 days until we know for sure.
On top of all of that, poor Jos had to get 4 shots. Tough day.

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter everyone!

Josie turned 4 months old yesterday. I can't believe it has been that long. Seems like yesterday she was so tiny and sleepy. Now she is active, talkative and a bucket of giggles. I feel so lucky to have such a fun, healthy girl.

Yesterday I took Josie to see my grandma. Grandma was very excited to see her and it was a nice visit. My dad was there, which was nice since he hasn't seen Josie for 2 months. It's a hard situation. No matter how hard I try to have him involved, he just doesn't care enough to make it happen. That is a whole other blog. Grandpa Bryce gave her a basket with candy and and outfit and jammies. :D


Last night we played a game called Wit's and Wagers with my mom, Daddy Jan and Wendy. It was a blast. We always have such a great time. No drama, just laughs. Ganma and Janpa gave Jos a pink bathtub with rubber duckies. It is adorable!


Grandma Karen & Grandpa Mark gave Jos a basket with eggs and an adorable cupcake outfit. That girl is stylin!
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Today we hunt Easter eggs with Austyn & Bronson at Grandma and Grandpa Lindhardt! FUN!!

Log Jam

So it's been awhile. I went back to work. Which has been nice. I think I forgot what it was like to get up and get ready for the day. I miss my girl during the day, but it makes our time so much sweeter when I get home.
Which, brings me to my first gripe! Haha! No really I just need to clear my head. I can't seem to find the motivation to sit down and write. I have these ideas that slip out of my head and then into God knows where. So I am writing today to try to get the log jam cleared.
Here is what I want to accomplish with writing: I want to write steadily, meaning always a project in the works. I want to put in the work to make it great, meaning re-writes and the like. I want to get them to a point where I feel like I can either enter them into writing competitions or where I can send out queries and get one optioned. I want to be a professional screenwriter. I love to write. Should be simple, right? Yeah, right.
Anyway, so tonight I find myself in a debacle of jumbled thoughts, words, emotions, etc. I have my Jason Aldean playing and I am searching for my characters voices...