The break has officially begun...

My house looks like a bomb went off.
Toys
Clothes
Toys
Blankets
Toys
And crap of the general kind
I'm trying to find the energy and motivation to take care of it but, damn it's not there! I was very excited to get to have 6 working days off, but now I am going crazy and it is only 1:30 PM on the FIRST DAY! Ahhhh! Maybe if my house was clean, I would feel differently, but the consensus is...UGH.

Warm and Fuzzies

Today was a good day. Josie has been a bit cranky, Scott has some weird stomach issue, and I feel like I ran a 3 day marathon, but we survived and now, here I sit, with egg nog and rum, the lights low, the tree lit and everyone but me asleep. A good time to write? Maybe so, but I feel like purging the words that are swimming around in this nog on top of my shoulders.
There was this feeling of peace today, and that is rare for a holiday that we have to run around to so many places for. The air was great and tension free, the sun was shining, the dogs got to run. I'd say pretty successful.
There are so many sweets sitting in my kitchen, I can already feel my body expanding...ha. Tis the season, I suppose.
Tomorrow, we relax and play with our shiny new toys. Can't wait.

Oh my lordy, another one.

I wish I were one of those people who memorized passages from their favortie piece of literature.
I wish I could say some witty joke that related in some funny academic way.
I wish I had more courage to leave Jos alone to work on writing.
I wish I had more time in the day.
I wish that I could just finish my rewrite and send it in instead of being so scared to try.
I wish I didn't feel like I was in limbo all of the time.
I wish that I fit in somewhere, with the writers, with the film people, with the literature people...but I don't.
I am in between, my own brand of quirky and strange.
I am quite possibly a jane of all trades, master of none.

Old Fashioned Blogging

I have been wandering around my house at odd hours of the day (usually evening, after 2 cups of coffee and a LOT of diet soda later) when I can't sleep and my brain is reeling. Reeling in a good way, not my usual tired and stressed way, and I have to purge my thoughts somehow. I have been wandering around with a paper notebook that I used for one of my classes this semester. I have pens stashed all over the place so that whilst wandering, I can jot down whatever it is I am processing at the moment. I am telling you this because I have had such an ugly block for so long and for some reason, I was able to uncork it and her it all comes. And not a moment too soon either. I make little poems about my opinions, I write poems about my family, drama I am dealing with, work, life, everything. If you are a writer, you know that to lose, or think you have lost, that ability to articulate your thoughts into coherent, and sometimes non-coherent, sentences is like death. It is like being stuck in a box underground, and angry because you put yourself there. To be able to dig yourself out of the self-imposed dungeon and to smell that fresh air is what alcoholics call CLARITY.

Cheers.

Fresh coat of paint

It's amazing how changing your fingernail/toenail polish can make a girl feel good. Color choice, blood red. I like it because it is dark enough to look black, but is still red, so you don't look like a goth poser.

This week has been crazy. On more than one occasion, I have found myself thinking, "What in hell have I gotten myself into???!" I haven't been on top of homework because I have had more pressing domestic issues. I don't know how I used to do this before. Oh wait, yes I do, I didn't have a crazy 9 month old who is becoming mobile...hahaha I love that little stink bug. No matter how bad my day, she is so happy to see me and she has a smile for me.

My furry babies are feeling a little left out, so I have been trying to include them in playtime with Jos. Josie loves to pet them, or smack them, which she thinks is the same thing and they try to keep a safe distance from her.

I have been itching to be creative. Make something, write something, take pictures of something. Change in the season, change in the Cherry. Now if only I could find the time to purge my creative demon. *sigh* Until next time...

Be Careful What You Wish For

I wanted to go back to school. Check. I wanted to take a Grammar class. Check. I wanted to be able to do homework and be Mom and wifey and take care of my household needs.........? Not happening! Not with work added into the mix. I am at overload with stress right now. I think I may have overestimated my ability to multitask at this juncture in my life. What do I neglect? My job? My family? My schoolwork? My house? AAAHHHH I have definitely taken a bigger bite than I can chew. Now, what to do....

Finding the balance

School started this week and I'm feeling it already. Homework has started and we are both trying to juggle homework and being parents. Not to mention keeping the house out of total chaos and managing to fit in some time for the two of us. Lots and lots of juggling. Proud to say that Scott earned his first 4.0, and he gained some much needed confidence to keep pursuing his Master's. I didn't do too shabby myself, and I just hope that I can keep up the momentum.

Other goings on, Miss J is getting so big! She has 2 teeth, bottom middle, and she can pull herself to standing pretty much anywhere. She hates shoes, loves #3 baby food and she is starting to sleep through the night again. (knock on wood) I think that now those teeth have finally come through, she is back to her normal happy self and mom and dad are getting some much needed sleep!

I have been feeling kind of sad the last little bit because I am losing a relationship that I had valued quite a bit. Things are different now because I see that the relationship was mostly give on my part and mostly take on the other end. I tried many times to bridge the gap, to no avail, and I can no longer participate. It's really too bad. But the person who cares the least in the relationship is the one with all the power, so I have been trying to regain that power. I love you and I am sorry that it has to be this way, but I have to do what is best for me now. Maybe someday we can talk it out, and maybe the damage can be repaired, but I don't know when that will happen, so for now, goodbye.