So I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. Plans, plans, plans. How do you define yourself when you had such a definite plan but you realized that all your plans don't fit? A round hole with a square peg. I'm trying to realize that I need to put that old dream to bed because I chose a different path.
What dream, you ask? Well, I had decided that I would go to USC, graduate from their film program and walk into a film job doing anything until I would get the chance to direct my own film. Slowly things changed. I met my husband, and suddenly that dream shifted. I decided to stay here and go to film school. I did graduate. We talked about moving to California and about how our life would change. Then, slowly, it got farther and farther away.
Then the ultimate life choice happened. I wanted a baby. WE wanted a baby.
So we waited until the time was right and now we have little baby J. I loved being a mom to our puppies, but I am completely head over heels in love with being a mom to my daughter. It is the most terrifying, exciting, funny, exhausting and happy thing that has ever happened to me. It's not something you can explain unless you have a child, but it is something that has helped me to feel at peace with the realization that maybe dreams can change. Maybe you find a new dream. Maybe you find peace with yourself and decide that whatever you do now, you do for your family and that being good to them and surrounding yourself with love and happiness, somehow you will find whatever it is your heart desires.
Preachy preaching aside, welcome to my life.